Support meetings

It is better to be hated for what one is than be loved for what one is not.
—Andre Gide

You're not alone

Gay, bisexual. What does it mean for me? ...I’m not sure.

Coming to terms with one’s sexual orientation produces many questions, particularly for men who have been or are married or partnered. Am I really gay or bisexual, or is this just a phase I am going through? Can I be gay or bisexual and not change anything about my life? What does my being gay or bisexual mean for my wife or partner, my children, my whole family? Who do I tell? Should I tell anyone at all?

Words from a member
“I always knew something was a little different about me, but I was unable or unwilling to truly identify it. As I got older I simply put any thoughts or feelings about men aside, as if I put them in a little box and kept them separate from what I thought of as the "real" me. I still seemed happily married and also felt I had this dual identity.”

The Gay Fathers Association of Seattle provides a safe and supportive place where you can ask these questions and hear how other men have answered them in the past, or how they are answering them right now, each in their own personal way.

I’m concerned about “coming out.”

The process of “coming out” starts with one’s self. For some, that is where it will end. For others, the process will continue and will first include those closest to them, and then, in time, others in ever-widening circles.

For those who come out to others, it is not uncommon to feel anxious and fearful. The fear of losing the love and respect of people one cares about can be overwhelming. For some, this fear may be particularly strong because they may depend on these same people for support. When this is the case, increasing one’s circle of support before coming out can help one to complete the process. Sharing one’s fears at GFAS support group meetings and hearing the stories of other men who are or who have already come out of the closet, can be very empowering and life-affirming.


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